Posted on: 21 September 2015Share
If you're an asexual person, it can be equally difficult to understand and be understood by the sexual world you live in. Sex is everywhere in the media and advertising, and people are often quick to think something's wrong with you if you tell them you don't have sexual urges. Talking to someone can help, but it's important to find someone who understands where you're coming from. This guide will help you to find a therapist who will listen to your problems and doesn't think you need to be fixed.
The Difficulties Of Being Asexual
Asexuals make up as much as 1% of the population, which amounts to about 70 million people, but that doesn't mean that the world understands the orientation just yet. People who feel no sexual urges or interest are often misunderstood, people with the best intentions think that asexuals just need more sexual experience to be "normal," and uninformed doctors may want to prescribe medications to improve your libido instead of accepting your orientation.
Unfortunately, this can be extremely frustrating for asexuals, who feel that there's nothing wrong with not wanting sex. While many people would turn to a psychiatrist for mental support if people were constantly berating them about something, talking to someone openly about your asexuality may be scary. You might be afraid that if you vent to a psychiatrist about life as an asexual that they too will tell you that there's something wrong with you. Thankfully, the LGBTQ community has made it easier to find therapists that understand your needs.
Finding a Therapist
There may be more people who understand the idea of being gay than being asexual, but people who consider themselves to be LGBTQ have created resources to find LGBTQ-ally therapists. These therapists understand that there's nothing wrong with belonging to a different sexuality, and recognize that their patients need a therapist who understands that they need help, but not with their orientation.
There are many websites that contain databases of LGBTQ-friendly therapists, like Gaylesta, which is a great place to start. While the LGBTQ community doesn't necessarily include asexuals, therapists who are understanding and comfortable with these orientations will probably not jump to the conclusion that there's something wrong with you because you're not interested in sex.
Don't be afraid to ask your therapist some questions before you ever come in. Therapy can be expensive, and you shouldn't have to come in for a treatment before you find out whether or not your therapist is accepting of your orientation. Simply asking them on the phone whether they know what asexuality is or not, and if so, what their opinion is on it can help you to decide whether they're an appropriate choice for you.
If you're asexual, it's an intrinsic part of your personality and life, and you should find a therapist who can respect that. Even if you need help with something completely unrelated to your sexuality, feeling like you can be completely open with your therapist instead of censoring yourself will help you to make the most of your counseling sessions.